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Have you ever wanted to go back and change something that simply cannot be changed? Maybe it was a decision, a relationship, a mistake, something someone said to you, or something you wish someone had said but never did. Solomon writes, “A tree can fall to the north or south, but it will stay where it falls.” (Ecclesiastes 11:3, NCV) In the original Hebrew, the picture is very simple: wherever the tree falls, there it lies. Once it has fallen, reality has changed. You may wis

Why are we fighting the same sin we fought 20 years ago? MEN DURING MID-LIFE What happens inside a man somewhere in his 30s when, from the outside, he may look like he has finally gotten his life together, but inside he is beginning to come apart? The photo is me at 37 with my Mom - I sure loved my Mom … I see it more than I wish I did. Men around 35, 37, 40 who just seem to derail. Obviously, everyone sins. Ladies do too. But I have watched enough men in this season of life

Forgive my cheesy image of God - but you get the idea. What are you trying to accomplish in life right now? What are your goals and aspirations? What are your challenges? How does God fit in all of this? I’m reading Job 38–41 today. And for most of the book of Job, Job is asking God questions. Why did this happen? Why am I suffering? Why does God seem silent? As we struggle, we ask the same questions. So first, this is why God matters, He can and will help us. Job knows he ha

What are you tempted with right now? Food, lust, a person, wealth, your body and appearance, a relationship, acceptance, approval, anger, unforgiveness — the list could go on, right? So stop for a moment and answer the question if you would: What — are — you — tempted — with? We sometimes talk about temptation as though it just suddenly “shows up.” And sure, sometimes it does. Something unexpected gets put right in front of us. But most of the time, temptation connects with s

Where do you get your counsel when you need an answer you can completely rely on? We spend a lot of money on therapists and counselors. We spend a lot of time talking with friends, pastors, family members, and people we trust about what we should do. And now, more and more people are turning to AI. I use AI. I think it is a great tool. I use it for writing, research, ideas, explanations, and even to help me think through things. But today, I’m showing you an actual image of a

Who has worship done right? The Catholics? The Baptists? The non-denominationals? The Pentecostals? What about home churches? Does anyone do it right? Some churches are liturgical. Some are quiet and reverent. Some are crazy, dancing, yelling, talking in tongues. Some use smoke machines, megatrons, giant screens, and huge music that can almost feel like entertainment. So how should we “really” worship? REAL WORSHIP LOOKS LIKE THIS Jesus gives us the clearest starting point in

Let’s be honest with ourselves today … I’ve been writing, podcasting, doing blogs and YouTubes on parents and adult children in the past few weeks. Honestly, it’s been a thing I’m working through personally. I’ve got part three of my YouTube video coming out in a couple of days on this topic. But today, I want to put a capstone on this topic in writing, all coming from my journal. What am I really expecting from the people I claim to love, and why do I expect it? Let’s be re

When life is good, what do you really lean on? The Story Of Job. How has comfort and luxury affected you? Has having more made you more grateful and generous, or has it quietly made you expect life to stay comfortable? Has success made you more dependent on God, or more dependent on what you own, what you have built, what you have saved, and how well life is going? WHAT THE BOOK OF JOB IS ALL ABOUT I just love Job. Here is a guy doing it all right. Things are good, balanced,

What one thing can turn around any relationship? Wait—pause for a second and come up with an answer before reading on. Okay, here’s the answer: love. If there is one thing Wendy and I see over and over in counseling, “it’s the lack of understanding”, then actually doing, what love really is. UNDERSTANDING WHAT LOVE REALLY MEANS We say we love our spouse. We love our children. We love our parents. We love our friends. We love God. But sometimes I wonder if we have confused lov

What are you suppose to do, based on where you are? Where are you right now? What’s your title? Why are you still alive? Why are you going through what you’re going through? Why did you have to hurt? Why did God allow someone you love to die, and now you’re the one left here? Why did that door open? Why did that one close? The questions could just keep coming, right? We may not understand all the answers on this side of heaven, but I do think Scripture teaches us to stop occa

Men, how well do you lead your family? And what does “lead the family” even mean? What does it look like in a healthy home—and what does it look like in a home that isn’t so healthy? Today I read: “The head of every man is Christ, the head of a woman is the man, and the head of Christ is God.” (1 Corinthians 11:3 NCV) The backstory is that Paul was writing to a Corinthian church struggling with all kinds of issues involving worship, relationships, freedom, authority, men and

What are you really committed to? What’s really important to you? What’s sacred in your life? It’s that thing you say to yourself, “If I don’t get anything else done today, I’m going to do this.” What is that thing for you? Ya know, every once in a while we probably ought to stop and question our commitments. Not because commitment is bad, but because you can be incredibly disciplined about something that really doesn’t matter. You can spend years climbing a ladder and eventu

How well are you listening and learning? Which adult do you know that does not take correction very well? Who are they? Why don’t they listen and learn from wisdom? Therapists and counselors make a living from people who simply don’t follow God’s commands. SOME PAIN IS REAL Now, that does not mean every emotional or relational struggle is because somebody disobeyed God. People really do get hurt. There are real heart wounds. Parents can wound children, spouses can betray each

Where is your life taking you? How do you show grace while still disciplining someone or making a point? HOW WE DISCIPLINE Parents understand this. You may discipline a child, give a consequence, take something away, or put them in time-out, yet you don’t stop loving them. You still feed them. You still protect them. You still tuck them into bed. As adults, sometimes discipline looks different. You may have to say no. You may establish a boundary. You may even have to walk aw

How are you doing with the hard relationships in your life? Not the easy ones, the hard ones. The person you love and dread in the same breath. The one whose name puts a weight in your chest before you've even finished thinking it. I've been wrestling with that question for a solid month now, from the counseling room to my own kitchen table, and I don't have it all figured out. I'm just going to share what I'm seeing, and I hope it helps. Here's the verse that started it, and

Should you just move on? Who in your life disturbs your calm? Do they rob you of peace? Is it just drama, and should you avoid them? Think about it. There is a lot to be said for like-mindedness. That doesn’t mean everybody in your life has to think exactly like you. Hey, maybe you aren’t thinking right yourself. But if you talk with people who don’t believe what you believe, expect some disturbance. If you are gracious and they are judgmental, expect a rift. If you forgive e

WHEN IS LOVE REALLY LOVE? How do you know the person you’re dating, or maybe living with, is really the one for you? How do you know when you’re actually in love? What does real love look like? And how do you ever get to the place where you can say, “I know that I know”? I know someone very close to me who just had their heart broken really badly. They thought, This is the one. They trusted this person and invested their heart in the relationship. Then they discovered the oth

How do you overcome what seems impossible? I know people who simply cannot seem to overcome difficult things in life. I know people who “think” they understand Scripture, but really don’t. And I know people constantly searching for peace, contentment, security, significance, and a full life, but never seem to find it. The truth is, we all want those things. We want clarity. We want peace. We want to understand why we’re here, what is right, and how to overcome the things that

Here’s mine - get to know me better. WHY READ MY STUFF Why would you spend time with me right now? It’s a fair question, because you've got a full day ahead of you, and a lot of crap to deal with. But if you stay with me a few minutes, you and I might have a connection. I just turned sixty-nine years old, and I thank everyone how wished me a big one. I’m one year from seventy, and for me, it makes me count my life a little differently. I sat down with my journal today, like I

Who or what do you serve? Your job? Your appearance? Your addiction? A person? Money? Success? Your hobbies? Your possessions? Or God? Here’s something to think about. Every one of us loves something. Every one of us treasures something. Every one of us worships something. Jesus said, “Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” (Matthew 6:21) So here’s the question. What do you treasure? What consumes your time, your energy, your thoughts, and your money? What do

If God knew Adam and Eve were going to sin, why create the world in the first place? Honestly, this is one of the hardest questions in the entire Bible and so many people have asked it. This came up in my reading: “Sin came into the world because of what one man did, and with sin came death. This is why everyone must die, because everyone sinned.” (Romans 5:12 NCV) So God created Adam and I suppose He created Him to sin - right? IF THERE WAS NO SIN What’s up with that, and ho

“People want others to be loyal, so it is better to be poor than to be a liar.” (Proverbs 19:22, NCV) Huh? This proverb almost makes your brain stop for a second. What does being poor have to do with lying? And what does it have to do with being loyal? First, remember who wrote it—Solomon. He was a deep thinker, and Proverbs often teaches through contrast. WHICH MAN WOULD YOU DESIRE? He’s saying people long for character, loyalty, faithfulness, and genuine love. Yet many spen

What would it actually take for you to walk across the bridge to someone you've been avoiding for years? I've been writing about relationships for days now. Today I want to put a capstone on it. Because I think every one of us is carrying at least one relationship that's strained, maybe fractured, maybe just quietly cold. YOU THINK IT’S SMALL - THEY THINK IT’S BIG To you, the offense is a two out of ten. Old news. You said sorry. Maybe you said it three times. But to them, it

Who should you be including in your life that you haven’t? LET’S FIND THE MISSING PERSON Open your phone right now. Scroll through your contacts. Somewhere in that list is a name you pass over every time, without even thinking about it anymore. You don't call them. You don't text them. Your thumb just knows to skip past that name the way you skip past a song you've heard too many times. Who is it? It’s probably not someone who wronged you to justify the silence, just someone