Is Someone Robbing You Of Your Peace?

Should you just move on?

Who in your life disturbs your calm? Do they rob you of peace? Is it just drama, and should you avoid them? Think about it.

There is a lot to be said for like-mindedness. That doesn’t mean everybody in your life has to think exactly like you. Hey, maybe you aren’t thinking right yourself.

But if you talk with people who don’t believe what you believe, expect some disturbance. If you are gracious and they are judgmental, expect a rift. If you forgive easily and they condemn, expect a bad experience. If you are continually trying to believe the best about them, while they are continually choosing to believe the worst about you, that relationship is going to become difficult. It’s just true.

God’s word says, “Spend time with the wise and you will become wise, but the friends of fools will suffer.” Proverbs 13:20 NCV.

The Apostle Paul said, “Do not be fooled: ‘Bad friends will ruin good habits.’” 1 Corinthians 15:33 NCV. And 2 Corinthians 6:14 warns us about being unequally yoked - trying to connect opposing beliefs.

The principle is simple: the people closest to us influence us. Their attitudes, values, habits, beliefs and character eventually rub against our own.

Psychology says something similar. People generally do better in close relationships when they share important values and have similar expectations about honesty, forgiveness, trust, responsibility and how conflict should be handled.

Differences are not automatically bad. In fact, differences can make us stronger. But when two people are constantly pulling in opposite directions on the things that matter most, the relationship can become emotionally exhausting - and you lose peace.

You spend more time defending yourself, explaining yourself or recovering from the interaction than actually enjoying the relationship.

So what do you do? Never call them? Never let them know when you are thinking about them? Never speak to them again? That’s a hard question, and I don’t think there is one answer that fits every person or every situation.

But I do think you have to ask yourself some honest questions. Have I loved them? Have I forgiven them? Have I tried to be kind? Have I apologized when I was wrong? Have I tried to make my wrongs right? Have I examined my own heart instead of assuming they are always the problem?

Romans 12:18 says, “Do your best to live in peace with everyone.” I think those words are important: do your best.

Scripture doesn’t say you will always be able to live in peace with everybody. Some people simply will not allow peace. Some people will continue to condemn you, question your motives, reopen old wounds or attack your character even when your intentions are good.

And when you have truly done what you can do, you may have to accept something: all you can do is all you can do, and all you can do is enough. But you have to be honest: Have you really done all you can do to nurture the relationship? If so - maybe it’s time to release them.

That doesn’t mean you hate them. It doesn’t mean you become bitter. It doesn’t mean you stop praying for them. It may simply mean you release the relationship from the position it once held in your life.

You can forgive somebody without giving them unlimited access to you. You can love somebody and still recognize that being around them continually creates unhealthy turmoil.

My Dad used to say, “Why waste life with people that don’t like you or agree with you? There are too many people out there that do like you and enjoy you. Choose them.”

There is something worth considering in that. Life is short. We should certainly love everybody, but that does not mean everybody has to be part of our closest circle.

So love others. Forgive them. Be nice. If you do something wrong or say something wrong, apologize and try to make your wrongs right. Don’t carry grudges. Don’t become bitter. Don’t return condemnation for condemnation.

But if someone continually wants to believe the worst of you, attack your character or keep you living in unnecessary turmoil, maybe it is time to lovingly release them. I promise, it will be your road to peace and contentment.

And remember, ultimately our peace cannot depend on another person anyway. Jesus said, “I leave you peace; my peace I give you. I do not give it to you as the world does.” John 14:27 NCV. Our deepest peace comes from Christ, not from everybody around us behaving the way we wish they would.

GOD, give me discernment and always help me be there for those we truly love. Give me wisdom to know when to speak and when to be silent, when to stay and when to walk away. Help me forgive quickly, apologize when I’m wrong, and make my wrongs right. Keep bitterness out of my heart. And when I have done everything I know to do, give me the grace to release what I cannot change and rest in the peace that comes from You. IJNIP amen. ♥️

(The one human that brings me most peace and happiness - my wifey ♥️)