Obey Externally - Rebel Internally - Which Are You?

Here’s an interesting question: When is it good to do the right thing externally, even if you don’t feel it internally?

Choosing to eat well when you’d rather not, being kind when you’d rather not - those choices have real value regardless of how you feel in the moment.

But I want to go beyond that, because I think there’s a version of “doing the right thing” that God finds deeply troubling. In fact, it causes you and I to erode and diminish. Noone wants to do that …

It may also cause the common person to say at those times: “Why don’t you just be honest — don’t fake it.”

So, I’m speaking of the times when your outside performance and your inside reality have completely divorced each other. You act loving while harboring anger. You show up to church while nursing secret sin. You look generous, faithful, devoted — while your heart is living in a completely different place.

And here’s the question that really matters: why are you doing it? Is it to honor God? To genuinely serve others? Or is it self-gratification — protecting your image, managing what people think of you?

Because if the motive isn’t pure, the performance isn’t worship - and - it’s living a life that you know is not real. And that has negative consequences on your life. It’s a costume.

And to say it plainly — if that’s where you are, you may be a poser.

So what does God actually say about this? And more personally — what areas of your life aren’t real?

Now, again, there is real value in doing the right thing even when you don’t feel like it.

But I think this is the deeper point. Motive is the thing. And motive lives in a place nobody else can see. Proverbs 16:2 says it plainly: “People may think everything they do is right, but the Lord judges their reasons.”

Not their actions. Their reasons. Are you serving because you genuinely love the person in front of you — or because you need to be seen as someone who serves?

Are you giving because your heart is moved — or because you want the reputation of a generous person?

Are you obedient because you trust God — or because you’re managing what people think of you?

I think these are the real questions. Let’s look at a few times God documents exactly this kind of attitude.

King Saul is one of the oldest and clearest examples. God gave him a direct command — destroy the Amalekites completely - keep nothing. Saul went, he fought, he appeared to obey. But he kept the best livestock and brought back the enemy king alive, then defended it all with religious language: “I saved the best to sacrifice to the Lord!”

The Prophet Samuel came and cut right through it: “It is better to obey than to sacrifice.”

Saul looked like a warrior and sounded like a worshiper — but his why was self-preservation dressed up as devotion. The truth is, you and I can look like we are worshiping God while we’re actually just managing our reputation.

So let me ask you something worth sitting with — is there an area in your life right now where you’re performing obedience but protecting something God already asked you to surrender? Why aren’t you just honest about it?

Jesus told a story that cuts just as deep. Everyone knows the Prodigal Son, the younger brother who wasted his inheritance, hit rock bottom, and came running home. But Jesus didn’t end the story there. The older brother, the one who stayed, worked, and showed up every single day, is standing outside the welcome-home party, furious, refusing to go in.

He says, “I have served you like a slave for many years and have always obeyed your commands.” Served. Obeyed. Every box checked. But underneath it was resentment, bitterness, and a secret ledger he’d been keeping for years. He didn’t obey out of love, he obeyed because he was earning something.

His why was never devotion. It was a transaction - he wanted something, rather than giving the love and devotion he had.

And what hits me most about that story is this: the younger son was lost and knew it. The older son was lost and didn’t. Which one is harder to reach?

God has been saying this same thing for a very long time. Through Isaiah, He told religious people, people who fasted and prayed and showed up — “These people come near to me with their mouth and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me.”

Think of it this way, some storefronts have beautiful windows, great displays, attractive signage. But when you walk inside, the shelves are empty. That’s what religious performance without a surrendered heart looks like to God.

He doesn’t browse your storefront. He walks right past the window and straight into the back room. Proverbs 21:2 says He weighs the heart, not your attendance, not your vocabulary, not your scripture posts. The heart. That’s what He’s looking at.

Here’s the good news, and I mean it sincerely: God is not looking for perfect people. He’s looking for honest ones. King David, the man after God’s own heart, failed spectacularly. Adultery. Murder. Cover-up. But when he was confronted, he stopped performing and started confessing.

He said: “Create in me a pure heart, God, and make my spirit right again.” No dressing it up. No explaining it away. Just the real, broken, exposed thing laid before God.

That’s what God is after. So let me ask you, (and me): are you going through religious or good motions while something in your heart is unresolved? Is there anger, unforgiveness, or secret sin living behind a public performance of faith?

Is your why actually love and surrender, or is it image and habit?

Jesus said the Father is seeking those who worship in spirit and truth. Not performance. Both. Together. The outside matters, but only when the why or the inside is real.

You can fool your spouse, your pastor, your small group, your coworkers, you can even fool yourself for a season. But you cannot fool God. And deep down, you already know that.

The grace available to a broken, honest person is enormous. The Prodigal’s father ran to meet him while he was still a mess. That’s still true today. But you have to actually come home , you can’t just look like you never left.

So what does this actually look like? Just be honest. Confess what you struggle with to God, and maybe to a close, wise friend who can walk with you through it. I say wise, because confessing to people without good counsel isn’t always helpful.

Evaluate your heart. If we’re being real, most of us default to whatever serves ourselves rather than serving others and honoring God. I know it can sound religious, but live like Christ. He gave, He lived, and He died for others with completely pure motives.

And here’s what I’ve found to be simply true: when you serve, you become free. When you give, your sense of purpose grows. When you sacrifice time and effort for others, your confidence and self-worth actually increase. It’s just the way it works.

Or, you can keep faking like everything is fine when you know it isn’t. But don’t you want to be free? Don’t you want to walk light and carry a lighter load?

Then confess it. Quit dragging it all around. There is nothing quite like that kind of freedom.

This should be our prayer:

GOD, I come now, not with the cleaned-up version of myself, not with the performance ready, just me. The real me. You already know what I’ve been hiding behind the right behavior and the right words. You know the resentment I’ve been carrying while keeping up appearances. You know the sin I’ve kept tucked away while the outside looked fine. And You know my why, the times I’ve served to be noticed, given to be praised, shown up for my own reputation and dressed it up as faithfulness. I can’t make that look better than it is in front of You, and I want to be done trying. So I’m coming home today. Not halfway. All the way in, with the real thing. Create in me a clean heart, not a cleaner performance, a clean heart. Purify my why. Let me serve because I genuinely love. Let me give because I’m truly grateful. Let me obey because I trust You, not because I’m managing what anyone thinks of me. I want to walk free. I want to put the weight down. Help me to stop faking and start living from the inside out, the way You designed me to live. Meet me here, God. In this honest place. I ask it in the name of Jesus, the one who never had to pretend a single day of His life, and loved me anyway. IJNIP amen.​​​​​​​​​​♥️