Why Are They Being Nice?

Why did someone take you to lunch, buy you football tickets, send you a gift, or do you a special favor? Sometimes people are simply being kind. But sometimes there is another motive.

There’s an old saying: Never accept something that makes it harder for you to say no later.

Solomon wrote: “If you sit down to eat with a ruler, notice the food that is in front of you. Control yourself if you have a big appetite. Don’t be greedy for his fine foods, because that food might be a trick.”(Proverbs 23:1–3, NCV)

This is not just about eating too much at a ruler’s table. In the ancient world, being invited to dine with someone powerful was a big deal. The warning is to pay attention because the generosity may come with strings attached. The meal may look like kindness, but the person may be trying to gain influence, loyalty, silence, or cooperation. That applies to business today.

A vendor takes you to an expensive dinner. A contractor gives you great football tickets. Someone sends you a large gift just before you make an important decision. A client offers a trip. A supplier says, “Don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of you.”

Wendy and I experienced this in business too. When we received bonuses, gifts, or special favors, we always tried to be very cautious that those things did not affect our judgment or the advice we gave our clients. Our responsibility was to do what was best for the client, not what was best for the person giving us something. Honestly, I’m glad those days are over.

None of these things automatically means someone is trying to bribe you. But you should ask one important question: What will they expect from me later?

Bribery rarely walks into the room and says, “I’m here to buy your integrity.” It usually looks much friendlier than that. It can look like meals, gifts, favors, entertainment, special treatment, or someone who suddenly seems extremely interested in becoming your friend.

That is Solomon’s warning: Pay attention. Don’t become so impressed by what someone is giving you that you stop asking why they are giving it.

Here’s the test: Can you still make exactly the same decision after accepting the gift that you would have made before it?

If someone’s generosity creates an obligation, it may not have been generosity at all.

It may have been leverage.

GOD, help us to be honest with ourselves. Yes, we love gifts, but please help us with our motives. IJNIP amen ♥️