Where Is Your Relationship Taking You

Whoever you are with right now, a spouse, someone you’re dating, or even someone you’re simply getting to know, where is that relationship taking you?

Is that person helping you move toward God and His ways, or are they pulling you away from Him? And just as importantly, where are you leading them?

I read today: “You must not marry people of other nations. If you do, they will cause you to follow their gods.” But Solomon fell in love with these women. (1 Kings 11:2 NCV)

That verse caught my attention. Solomon wasn’t some foolish young man who didn’t know better. This was Solomon, God gave him incredible wisdom. He built the Temple, he wrote much of Proverbs, he experienced blessings and opportunities most people could never imagine.

Yet despite all of that wisdom, the Bible says he fell in love with these women, and eventually, “His wives caused him to turn away from God” (1 Kings 11:3 NCV).

It’s interesting how relationships work. Wendy and I influence each other in all sorts of ways. When I don’t feel like working out and she does, I end up going. If one of us wants to go to church, we usually go. When one of us brings up deep questions about our children, our marriage, our future, or where we’re headed in life, we talk about it. When one of us wants to pray, we pray. The influence goes both directions. That’s what happens when two people become attached to one another.

The opposite is true as well. If one person develops unhealthy habits, bad attitudes, poor priorities, or destructive behaviors, those things tend to influence the relationship too. It’s amazing how often we drift toward the patterns of the people we spend the most time with.

You go in the direction of the person you become attached to.

That’s what happened to Solomon. There is a pattern here that is worth paying attention to. First we become attached. Then influence happens. Then compromise begins. Then eventually we drift. Solomon didn’t wake up one morning and decide to worship foreign gods. It happened over years. His affections slowly pulled him where God’s wisdom had warned him not to go.

The old advice says, “Follow your heart.” The Bible gives a different warning. Be careful where your heart attaches itself. Jesus said:

“Your heart will be where your treasure is.” (Matthew 6:21 NCV)

Whatever has your deepest affection will eventually influence the direction of your life.

That’s true whether we’re talking about money, success, possessions, recognition, or relationships. People can easily become idols. A relationship can become so important that we become willing to compromise truth, convictions, obedience, worship, and even our walk with God in order to keep it.

What strikes me about Solomon is that the wisest man on earth allowed his affections to pull him where his wisdom told him not to go. That should cause every one of us to pause.

You can sincerely love something and still be wrong to pursue it. The feelings aren’t necessarily fake. The problem comes when those feelings begin leading us away from God and away from the good and godly things He desires for our lives.

I think the healthier question is not, “How much do I love this person?” The better question is, “Where is this relationship taking me?”

Is it making me more loving, more patient, more forgiving, more obedient, more Christlike? Is it helping me become the person God wants me to become? And am I doing the same for them?

The beautiful thing is that relationships can pull us in a godly direction too. We become attached, we influence one another, we walk with God together, and we grow. We challenge one another. We encourage one another. We pray together. We help each other stay on course when life gets hard. That’s the kind of influence we should want to have on the people we love.

So who have you become attached to? Where are they leading you? More importantly, where are you leading them?

The drift happens easier than we think. That’s why a healthy heart learns to say, “I love this person deeply, but I love God more.” I hope Wendy always influences me toward God - and I hope I do the same for her.

Lord, help us love well, but help us love the right things and the right people who draw us closer to You. Give us wisdom in our relationships. Help us influence others toward Christ, and protect us from any affection that would pull us away from You. In Jesus’ name I pray, amen. ❤️

(Our oldest granddaughter - Lilly - geez, already 17 years old - Jax Zoo)