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Where Do Arguments “Really” Come From?



What is the “real reason” most conflicts and arguments occur in your life? Normally, someone is not cooperating with things. But what kind of things?


Yes, sometimes someone is doing things very wrong; getting drunk or high on narcotics, maybe a severe temper and so on. However, most arguments really come from “not getting what you want.” It’s true.


We are selfish, sinners and we want what we want, when we want it.


The Apostle James asked the profound question: “Do you know where your fights and arguments come from?” (James 4:1 NCV)


“They come from the selfish desires that war within you. You want things, but you do not have them. So you are ready to kill and are jealous of other people, but you still cannot get what you want.” (James 4:2 NCV)


“So you argue and fight. You do not get what you want, because you do not ask God. Or when you ask, you do not receive because the reason you ask is wrong. You want things so you can use them for your own pleasures.” (James‬ ‭4‬:‭3 NCV‬‬)


Jesus himself said: “Whoever wants to become great among you must serve the rest of you like a servant.” (Matthew 20: 26 NCV)


He went on to say: “Whoever wants to become first among you must serve the rest of you like a slave.” (Matthew 20: 27 NCV)


He said: “In the same way, the Son of Man did not come to be served. He came to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many people.””

‭‭Matthew‬ ‭20‬:‭28 NCV‬‬)


If I were to sum up our counseling for relationships in one word, it would be “serve”. However arguments come from us desiring to be served.


Imagine how great it would be to have someone wake up each morning thinking of how they could serve you.


But here is the kicker. You and I are supposed to wake up each morning thinking of how to serve him, her or them.


This includes friends, the needy, spouses, children, neighbors and even those you don’t know that are in need.


We all already know all of this, but the real question is: “Do we live it?” Sometimes, we simply need to stop being so self-centered and be other-centered - and love others as much as we love ourself.


At the end of the day, it may be a little painful to give, but it always has a happy ending.


LORD, help us serve. You served us by sending your son Jesus Christ to save our soul. He is free. All we have to do is beleive and accept. Help us live-out what we believe. Help us to possess what we profress. Holy Spirit, give us a heart of love and forgiveness. IJNIP amen ♥️



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