Trust vs Forgivenss - There Is A Difference

What is the difference between forgiveness and trust?

THE TRUTH

Are you refusing to trust someone because they’ve hurt you, or because you simply don’t like them? And have you really forgiven someone if you’re unwilling to give them another chance?

Those are tough questions, aren’t they?

I’ve noticed that sometimes people hide behind words like trust and boundaries when the real issue is that they simply don’t like someone, disagree with them, or don’t want them in their lives. Trust and boundaries can become convenient disguises for bitterness, resentment, or unforgiveness.

But there are legitimate reasons not to trust someone, especially when there’s a history of dishonesty, manipulation, harm, or abuse.

WHEN TO TRUST AND FORGIVE

Today, I read: “Trusting unfaithful people when you are in trouble is like eating with a broken tooth or walking with a crippled foot.” (Proverbs 25:19 NCV)

What a picture! Imagine biting down on a broken tooth or trying to walk on an injured foot. Just when you need support, it fails you and causes more pain.

The Hebrew word translated unfaithful carries the idea of someone who betrays confidence or acts treacherously. Solomon is warning us about depending on people whose character has demonstrated they’re unreliable.

Here’s the difference: Forgiveness is something God commands us to extend. Trust is something people demonstrate they deserve.

Jesus tells us in Mark 11:25 to forgive others when we pray. And Ephesians 4:32 reminds us to forgive just as God has forgiven us through Christ.

WHAT IS REAL FORGIVENESS

Forgiveness isn’t dependent on someone apologizing, changing, or even deserving it. Forgiveness releases us from bitterness and the desire to get even. It opens the door to healing and peace.

But forgiveness doesn’t automatically restore trust.

In business, Wendy and I always said, Hire slowly, terminate quickly. Why? Because character matters. A person’s lifestyle, history, and repeated decisions usually reveal whether they’re dependable.

Jesus said, “You will know these people by what they do.” (Matthew 7:16 NCV) In other words, look at the fruit or actions of their life.

Someone can apologize, promise to change, and even behave differently for a while. But genuine repentance is more than words or temporary improvement. It’s a change of heart and mind that produces lasting changes in behavior.

I can remember when I was so quick to apologize, but not committed to change. It takes time to demonstrate a true heart change.

LET’S BE HONEST WITH OURSELF

Now, here’s where I think we should examine ourselves.

Are you withholding trust because someone has demonstrated they’re unsafe or unreliable? Or are you using trust and boundaries as excuses to avoid forgiving and loving someone?

Jesus commanded us to love God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength, and to love others as ourselves. That includes people who’ve disappointed or offended us.

But loving someone doesn’t mean allowing them to repeatedly harm us. You can forgive someone, love them, and still recognize they’re not safe to trust.

So, when should we forgive? I say as soon as we’re willing to surrender the offense to God. Sometimes that takes time.

And when should we trust again? When there’s genuine evidence, and heart change toward repentance, accountability, consistent behavior, and safety.

CONCLUSION

So, let me leave you with this.

If you’ve offended someone, confess it, repent, change your behavior, and seek forgiveness. Don’t demand trust. Demonstrate that you’re trustworthy.

If you’ve been wronged, forgive. Don’t allow bitterness to control your heart. And when it’s safe, give the other person an opportunity if they have sincerely apologized - and - trying to demonstrate that they’re changing their heart, mind, and behavior.

But ask yourself: Are my boundaries protecting me from genuine harm, or simply keeping someone away whom I don’t want to love, like or disagree with?

Forgiveness releases the offense. Trust evaluates the evidence. Reconciliation requires both people to move toward repairing what is broken.

LORD, help me forgive as You’ve forgiven us. Protect me from bitterness, but also from foolishness. Please give me wisdom to recognize genuine repentance, courage to establish healthy boundaries, and humility to recognize when I’m the one who needs to change. Please give me Your discernment. IJNIP amen ♥️