What Kind Of Parent Are You?

When your child, or better yet, your adult child, looks at your life and how you live, how would they describe you? Would they want to follow your example, or would they be better off living differently?

WE START OFF PRETTY GOOD

God once told a story about the Israelites in the desert after He rescued them from slavery in Egypt. You remember the story. Moses led them out after God sent the plagues upon Egypt. God parted the Red Sea, provided food from heaven, and gave them water in the wilderness. It all looked good at first. Then, not so much.

Despite everything God had done for them, many of the Israelites turned away from Him. They complained, worshiped idols, and continued living in disobedience. And what was even worse? Their children were watching and learning from their example.

God eventually spoke to the next generation through Moses, as Ezekiel later recorded:

“I said to their children in the desert, ‘Don’t live by the rules of your parents, or obey their laws. Don’t make yourselves unclean with their idols.’” (Ezekiel 20:18 NCV)

Think about that! God was actually telling children NOT to follow their parents’ example.

The Hebrew word ḥuqqîm, translated here as “rules,” refers to established practices or prescribed ways of living. God wasn’t simply warning these children about an occasional mistake their parents made. He was warning them against adopting an entire pattern of life that had turned away from Him.

WHO’S WATCHING YOU

Here’s something worth considering. Just because your parents lived a certain way doesn’t mean you should. And just because you’re the parent doesn’t mean your children should follow your example.

I know parents who call their adult children while intoxicated. I know parents who once professed faith in Jesus Christ but have since rejected Him. I know parents who live selfishly, putting their own pleasures, desires, and interests ahead of everyone else. And the list goes on. Kids watch parents go to church, and how it does or doesn’t affect them.

STOP AND LOOK AT YOURSELF

But before we start pointing fingers at other parents, perhaps we should look in the mirror.

What kind of example am I setting? What do my adult children see when they look at my life? Do they see a man who genuinely loves God and others? Do they see a Dad who loves them?

Do they see someone who is generous, humble, forgiving, and willing to admit when he’s wrong? Or do they see someone who talks about following Christ but doesn’t always live like Him?

And here’s another thought. Our adult children may learn more from how we live than from what we tell them. I think most of us have heard that when it comes to our children, more is caught, than taught. They watch and are taking life lesson notes.

WHAT ARE THEY NOTICING IN US?

They watch how we treat our spouse, handle money, respond to disappointment, speak about others, and deal with conflict. The see order or chaos. They see our priorities, our habits, and sometimes even our hypocrisy.

Of course, even godly parents can have children who choose a different path. We are responsible for our example, but we cannot control another person’s choices.

So here’s my personal commitment. I want to live a life worth following. Not a perfect life, because that’s impossible, but an honest one. A life where my children and grandchildren can see my love for God through the way I love others. And when I fail, I want them to see me acknowledge it, ask forgiveness, and make the necessary changes.

A COMMITMENT WORTH CONSIDERING

I don’t want my children to have to overcome my example. I want my example to help them become more like Christ, and helps them grow.

What about you? What do those closest to you see?

LORD, help me see myself the way my children and those closest to me see me. Show me where my example doesn’t reflect Your character. Give me the humility to admit my failures, the courage to change, and the wisdom to live in a way that draws my family closer to You. May my life be worth following, not because of who I am, but because of who You are becoming in me. IJNIP amen ♥️

(The day my parents married - I sure watched them)