The Space That Strengthens Love

Who are you around - too much? You know, the one you always call, alwys see, always text and talk to. Is there someone?

Believe it or not, sometimes it’s not conflict that causes the tension, it’s closeness without balance.

Too much time, too many words, too little space, and slowly, even affection can start to feel heavy. It’s crazy, I know - but true.

Proverbs 25:17 says, “Don’t go to your neighbor’s house too often; too much of you will make him hate you.” (NCV)

At first, it sounds funny, maybe even a little sarcastic, but behind that humor is deep truth. God isn’t telling us not to visit people; He’s teaching us to practice wisdom in how we relate to them.

Wisdom knows when to come close and when to step back.

When we overstay our welcome in someone’s space, physically, emotionally, or conversationally, we shift from refreshing to draining. Familiarity without boundaries can dull appreciation.

Even the most beautiful garden dies when it’s overwatered.

God designed relationships to breathe. Healthy connection always includes rhythm, moments of presence and moments of pause.

I think Jesus modeled this perfectly. He was deeply relational, spending time with his followers, teaching crowds, and healing those in need. Yet He often withdrew to quiet places to pray (Luke 5:16).

He gave fully, but He also guarded His spirit. His love was generous, but never smothering. He also, went to refill his own spirit in prayer, quiet and solitude.

Man, I tell ya, I think I can wear people out. I can stay too long, talk too much, follow up too often and I ask too many deep questions. I’m really trying to work on this for my own life. I mean well, I love conversation, connection, and learning people’s stories, but sometimes my presence can turn into pressure - or a pest.

This verse reminded me that love isn’t measured by how often I show up, but by how wisely I do.

True friendship gives others the freedom to breathe, to think, and to miss you. Many times we are needing to be fed - or we may be trying to control.

For married couples, this proverb carries “quiet power”. It reminds us that closeness isn’t the same as constantness. Being around each other all the time doesn’t automatically deepen love, in fact, it can sometimes smother it.

Healthy love gives room for individuality, moments apart to pray, rest, and grow. Wendy and I have learned that we’re better together when we each spend time alone with God. This was important for us since we worked and lived together 24/7. When both of us are spiritually filled, we bring peace, not pressure, into our marriage.

The danger in marriage isn’t distance , it’s disconnection.

And the cure isn’t constant presence, it’s purposeful balance. Supporting your spouse’s need for space doesn’t weaken your bond; it strengthens it.

The Apostle Paul said it beautifully in 1 Corinthians 13: “Love is patient and kind… it is not self-seeking.” True love gives the gift of breathing room.

Maybe it’s time to ask yourself, Is my presence refreshing or overwhelming to those around me, especially my spouse? Do people enjoy you as they see you coming? Or do they think “oh-no here they come again!”

It’s wise to ask God to give you wisdom to know when to lean in and when to step back. Space doesn’t mean separation; it means trust.

Love grows best when it has room to breathe. Finishing well in relationships isn’t about being constantly present, it’s about being consistently wise.

LORD give us discernment in how and when we love. IJNIP amen ♥️