Marriage: What’s Wrong And What’s Right

What would you change if you could do your marriage over again?

Would the change be your spouse - or yourself? And if your marriage feels stale right now, what needs to change? Is it really your mate, or is it you?

Every marriage tells a story. Every union reveals who we really are, our strengths, our selfishness, our fears, and our faith. Marriage was never meant to be built on luck, compatibility, or even good intentions.

It’s built on layers, spiritual, emotional, and practical. When these layers are out of order, the whole structure begins to tilt.

Most marriages start with feelings and similarities. Those are wonderful gifts, but they were never meant to lead. Feelings fade and shift. Similarities can change with seasons. The real foundation of marriage is being equally yoked.

To be equally yoked means more than sharing interests, it means being joined by the same faith, the same purpose, and the same direction.

The Apostle Paul wrote, “You are not the same as those who do not believe. So do not join yourselves to them. Good and bad do not belong together. Light and darkness cannot share together.” (2 Corinthians 6:14 NCV)

When two people walk in different directions, the yoke that’s meant to guide them becomes a source of strain. A marriage like that eventually breaks down. It’s alignment of spirit, not just attraction.

And then comes covenant love. Covenant love is not the same as contractual love. A contract says, “I will, if you will.” A covenant says, “Even if you don’t, I still will.” A contract is based on performance. A covenant is based on promise.

Jesus said, “So they are no longer two, but one. God has joined the two together, so no one should separate them.” (Matthew 19:6 NCV)

That’s the heart of covenant love. It’s the same kind of love Christ showed us when He gave His life for our sins. He didn’t love us because we deserved it, He loved us because of who He is.

“But God shows his great love for us in this way: Christ died for us while we were still sinners.” (Romans 5:8 NCV)

That’s the gospel in marriage. Two sinners learning to love, forgive, and serve each other like Jesus did for us. The truth is, we are all selfish by nature. Every single one of us. Marriage doesn’t expose your spouse’s flaws as much as it reveals your own.

Serving, forgiving, and choosing love daily, it’s not easy. It goes against the current of culture and convenience. The world says, “Do what makes you happy.” Jesus says, “Love as I have loved you.” (John 15:12 NCV)

Schedules get busy. Desires change. Life shifts. But the grace of God allows every couple to rebuild again. And if you are starting over, this is your chance to do it right. Starting over doesn’t mean divorcing, it means beginning again right where you are.

If you’ve divorced, you can still reconcile with the right heart, spirit, forgiveness, and love. And if you’ve lost your partner, think this through carefully. It’s your chance to do it better - yes, better is possible.

The Apostle Paul spoke directly to those who have lost a spouse and find themselves standing at that crossroads.

Paul wasn’t discouraging marriage. He was encouraging single-minded devotion to the Lord. He said, “A woman is free to marry anyone she wishes, but she must marry someone who belongs to the Lord. But the woman will be happier if she does not marry again.” (1 Corinthians 7:39-40 NCV)

If you’ve lost your partner, this may be your time to draw closer to God in ways marriage once divided. Sometimes the best next step isn’t to rush into another relationship, but to rediscover your first love - Jesus Himself.

The same power that raised Jesus from the dead can breathe new life into a tired heart and a weary marriage. No matter where you started or how far you’ve drifted, it’s not too late.

You can rebuild. You can forgive. You can fall in love again—this time, on purpose.

“The Lord makes everything work together for the good of those who love him and are chosen to be part of his plan.” (Romans 8:28 NCV)

GOD - please bless our marriages and reveal who we really are. That’s our starting place. IJNIP amen ♥️