Comfortable, Confident, And Completely Lost

Are you on the wrong road? What if you’re on the wrong road, and everything still feels fine? How can you know?

I know this from the inside. When Wendy and I married out of an affair, we got what we wanted - each other. And I told myself we were finally on the right road.

But it wasn’t all Cadillacs and cotton candy. It became so tumultuous, so filled with guilt and consequence, we were nearly ready to walk away entirely.

I had the feelings. I had the story I was telling everyone. And I was nowhere near the right road. I also had a nice car, business moving, money coming, and still felt unsettled in a way I couldn’t name.

That hunger, that hollow ache for something I couldn’t buy or build, after the happy dust settled, the guilt, shame and the evidence I kept ignoring, was still there.

At first, like all straying, it wasn’t a crisis. Not a catastrophe. Just a normal day. The wind is blowing, there’s hot water, a good meal, some money in the account. Life is, by most measures, pleasant.

And yet, many don’t ask “Where is this road actually taking me?”

The most dangerous roads don’t feel dangerous at first. They feel comfortable. They feel earned. And that’s exactly why people stay on them too long.

The book of Judges tells a painful story. The writer says, “Again the Israelites did what the Lord said was wrong. So for seven years the Lord handed them over to Midian. Because the Midianites were very powerful and were cruel to Israel, the Israelites made hiding places in the mountains, in caves, and in safe places.” (Judges 6:1–2 NCV)

These were people who had walked through a parted sea. People who had been given a promised land flowing with milk and honey. And now they are hiding in caves.

Their life didn’t start in a cave. It started in a promise. So how did it go so sideways?

It didn’t happen in one day. Not in one decision. Ir was a long series of small, comfortable compromises, each one feeling slightly less dangerous than it actually was, until one morning they looked around and didn’t recognize where they were.

That’s the cave you never saw coming.

I’m a deep believer that we don’t change until we are sufficiently disturbed.

And the problem for most people is that the disturbance hasn’t arrived yet. Life is tolerable enough. The pain is manageable enough. The consequences haven’t fully landed. So we stay. We coast. We tell ourselves we’re fine.

But Proverbs says it plainly: “There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death.” (Proverbs 14:12 NCV)

You can board the wrong train, settle into a comfortable seat, enjoy the scenery, and the whole time, you are headed to the wrong city. The comfort of the ride does not correct the destination.

You can be perfectly at ease and profoundly lost at the same time.

After the Tim and Wendy party was over, I only knew I was on the wrong track when I finally got honest about how much I needed Jesus Christ.

Not a religious moment, it was kind of a reckoning. I realized my sins and selfish desires were the source of my unhappiness. Not circumstances. Not other people. My own choices. My own hiding.

And only when I confessed, really confessed, only when I went back and made the wrongs right, did shame begin to lift. Did guilt begin to release. Did something I can only describe as a deep, settled joy begin to arrive.

Jesus said: “Come to me, all of you who are tired and have heavy loads, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28 NCV)

That thing you can’t overcome, it’s heavier than you confess, isn’t it? That pain you feel, it’s deeper than you let on. And I promise you, with great experience on both sides of this, it will not lift until you surrender it. And come to the truth.

The Apostle James said it well: “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so God can heal you.” (James 5:16 NCV)

Confession is not weakness. It is the surgical instrument that removes what medication cannot touch. You can manage the symptoms your whole life, or you can let the thing actually heal.

So why haven’t you? Probably because you are not yet sufficiently disturbed. The cave hasn’t gotten dark enough. The road hasn’t gotten rough enough. And so you keep waiting, negotiating, managing, performing. Telling everyone it’s good when it’s not.

But here’s the question I want to leave you with today: Why wait?

Why wait for the full crash? Why wait for the cave? You can draw the line right now. Not a “I’ll try harder” start. A real start. A confession. A surrender.

A cry for help directed at the only One with the actual power to help. Ask God. Ask the Holy Spirit. Ask Jesus Christ to step into what you cannot fix on your own.

But you gotta come clean. Be honest. Live a transparent life. If you have nothing to hide, you hide nothing. And as long as you hide it, it will not heal.

How much longer will you carry it? If you can’t diagnose it, ask someone who loves and knows you well to tell you where you may need to grow and change. Trust me, they will know.

Here’s the promise. The Promised Land is still available. But you have to get off the wrong road to find it.

GOD, so many won’t confess from pride. Some actually don’t know how much trouble they are in. Some are lost, but when death arrives, then they will know, but it will be too late. Please - wake them up. Let this story awaken them please. They can cut the weights that keep them from running the race they can win. Please help them, help me - IJNIP amen ♥️